Monday, February 25, 2019

About the term "special needs" and learning how to use the politically correct terms so as not to piss anyone off

Strange to see that some of my former family members were quite pissed off because I used the term "special needs" in a former post. And I guess I am old school and yet still think that some may be living even deeper under the rock. Here's the deal. I am not ashamed or the least bit embarrassed to admit that someone I know has what I consider special needs. I was never comparing the child to her other siblings. In my mind it would be like comparing me to my siblings. I was reading at college level in the 4th grade and deemed mentally gifted shortly afterwards. But my younger bro who had many many hard years in school before he was diagnosed with dyslexia which involved me getting into a few fights with people who wanted to call him stupid. And it turns out he is actually a genius at what he excels in and today he is a master of many things. When we were kids he could take a broken toaster apart and put it back together and it would be working but his learning comprehension skills were way below grade level.
I think my last post was a reaction to a child being so frustrated and not yet having the comprehensive skills to articulate what they are feeling. And my frustration of not being able to figure it out. Do I still firmly believe she is at this point a special needs child? 100%. I remember a conversation with the older girls when Chloe was telling me Lex was telling the next door neighbors that Olivia was a year younger than she was because she didn't want them making fun of her sister. And to me that isn't anything to be ashamed of but I totally understand why Lex did it.
When I myself say she is a special needs child to me It just means that because her communication skills are not yet up to par that I spend more time trying to understand what she is feeling and trying to say. In the past couple of months I have heard her grunt UGH like sounds and she just seems so frustrated. And I think a large part of it is because she can't quite communicate yet what she is really feeling frustrated about.
I  have to give praise that things are so different today than in the past. When we first started noticing that she wasn't speaking and did things always in a certain order I was naturally thinking that she was on some sort of autism spectrum. And I can't say enough about how much joy it brings me today when this little baby girl hugs me and says "I love you so much Grandma". Because there was a time when I seriously wondered if she was ever going to speak. Not because I was comparing her to her sisters but just from seeing her repetitive actions and knowing that she had no desire to communicate at that time. She has come such a long way in such a short time with her communication skills and the help from outside resources that she received for this.
Today they went to the snow. Hubby went outside and said "how did you like it" and she said "It was awesome" and how cool is that?
And at this point I don't want to make her special or any different from the other kids. But I still think she is someone who should be treated differently from the other kids because she is in fact different. The term "special needs" to me and my inner family simply means that certain people need a bit of extra attention. When Olivia speaks to me I stop everything and listen to what she is saying or trying to say because I know that she needs me to pay attention. And once again I will reiterate that me calling her a "special needs" child I'm not doing that because I look down on her. In fact I can honestly say that it makes me love her even more.
I guess I am just a bit pissed off about the world today where people are so sensitive and looking for reasons to blame others about everything. Let's get this straight. Life is hard for everyone. We all have issues. #stopthehate

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