Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Redemption...ponderings ....self improvement...2013

"It is his capacity for self-improvement and self-redemption which most distinguishes man from the mere brute."

AUNG SAN SUU KYI, Freedom from Fear

So I write this post the other day and evidently I made some bad choices for examples .  I was pondering the topic of how people judge others and how they make their own rules sometimes depending on the situation.  I used an example of someone I know who at one point in his life hit his rock bottom and he did some pretty bad things.  But every one makes mistakes...people all do bad things in their life at one point or another. In this case this great guy was forgiven and went on to lead a very productive life and do some really good things.  He had his redemption and deservedly was given another chance.  But later on in life he is in a position where he has to judge someone for alledgedly doing something very similar to what he had done.  And my question was "How do you do that knowing what you have done in the past"?  
And I'm not saying that everyone should be allowed to go around doing bad things and then simply be forgiven for them.  Because there are indeed many bad evil people in this world who never have any remorse for their actions....ever.
But I guess the bottom line is that we indeed all judge one another. 
I recently had someone tell me that my family likes to "bury our heads in the sand and keep things secret"....they chastised me saying that we don't talk about things and like to "pretend that everything is great"  And I don't really think it is "pretending" but instead is trying to be positive and to think about the good things or to think about the bad things that happened for a reason and led to good things.
So I talk about something that I had no idea was now a "secret".  I assumed that the example would have been talked about and not hidden and that lessons could be learned from it.  But nope I guess I'm just not up on these "secret" rules...I guess some of them you are supposed to talk about if they want you to but other ones we really are supposed to bury our heads in the sand...and act like they never happened.  I'm not sure why when it is a case where someone should be very proud of all that they have accomplished...but..nope we'll just erase that certain part of their lives so they can go on judging others and feel good about it I guess. It doesn't make a lot of sense to me but a lot of times I know that I don't make any sense either in all of my ramblings.
I have often heard that "Time heals all wounds".  But I really don't think so.  A lot of times the wounds just keep festering and sometimes they get so old that you realize it was a waste of time to try and heal them in the first place.
I have also quite often heard the saying "Choose your battles wisely".  and I have often not been wise in this topic.  People often forget that if others are doing something stupid that no matter how much talking or reasoning....nothing will be resolved unless you simply agree with everything the other person says.  Also it depends on the person and situation you are trying to reason with...for instance what if they have multiple personalities and you never know if you are dealing with "Mother Teresa, Psycho Kitty, or Judge Judy"?  The point is that sometimes the only thing you can do is agree to disagree....and to keep in mind that at the same time you think someone is judging you...that you yourself in turn are also judging them for judging you....so it's like a never ending circle...a stretched out rubber band so to speak that will snap back every now and then but is still getting worn out each time it gets stretched wider.
The other night I was laughing at I think her name is Elsa on one of the "Houswife" series.  She said something like "I'm a really good friend and a bad enemy".  And she had that chica evil eye look like she was gonna bust out with some psychic bad bajango mojo curse or something.  Girl was downright serious!
And I very seldom make New Years Resolutions these days,...but I would have to admit that I think one of my biggest faults is that if I think someone is mad at me for no reason....then I darn sure do my best to give them a real good reason to be mad at me.  And what does that really accomplish? Not much.  Two wrongs do not make a right but at the end of the day sometimes it feels like it might :) Anyhoo...  Since the world decided not to end on 12-21-12.....and gee we haven't fallen off of the fiscal cliff just yet....
my New Years Resolution will be to stay as far away from other peoples' drama as I possibly can ... not to get caught up in it... and if something smells fishy to walk away before it really gets rotten.  
That is of course unless they are being a bully....now that's a different story...but enough of my ramblings for the day.
Hope ya'll have a great 2013 and many many more fab years to follow! 

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