Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Oh Dear What Should I Fear Today? Fear Itself Perhaps? Hmnn

I have been thinking a bit about "fear" good is it? bad is it? what point does worrying become fear? etc.etc. I want to share a few of my thoughts about this here today.
When I was a kid I had two basic fears instilled in me----
#1- The FEAR of God
#2- The FEAR of "The Hand"
And it was pretty much all I needed at a young age to keep me on the straight and narrow---
You had to try to be good because if you didn't you were going to go Straight TO Hell  and for all of those other occasions when Hell was an afterthought---- the "Fear of the Hand"  usually did a good job at keeping me in check.
You had to mind your manners, respect your parents, and do what they told you to because if you didn' would probably get a "smack-check" to keep you in check.  And it wasn't about abuse... I just knew if I didn't behave...I was gonna get smacked (and in the back of my mind I also knew that if I didn't try to be good that I would end up in Hell someday :) --)
Now today...I know that spanking is Taboo... and with my own child I was not a super strict disciplinarian as a parent ...but luckily with my son...he got his feelings hurt if I simply raised my voice at him and the few times I "swatted" him my older bro told me I did it like I was "dusting powder off of a doughnut"(Ironically the few times I swatted him was when he "scared" me--he chased a ball out into the street and could have been hit by a car etc) ....I even had my son convinced that if he didn't tell the truth that he would get "spots on his tongue"...I honestly can't believe how long that one worked LOL where my dad and I could tell him "Let me see if you're telling the truth---stick out your tongue!"  But you know that saying of if you give your parents will see them tenfold with your own children ? It really never happened with him..but it took him having a child to really "grow-up and step up to the plate" and I am very proud of him for doing that.
But back to me and knowing about the "fear of the hand"  when I was a kid------ I seriously have never understood this "time-out" "sit-in-the-corner" stuff..because with me when I was a kid---it would have NEVER EVER WORKED... If my mom would have told me to behave or she would put me on "time-out in a corner" I would have been all----"YIPEE! I GET TO SPEND SOME MORE TIME TO HANG OUT AND CHAT WITH MY IMAGINARY FRIENDS!! JOYFUL JOYFUL I'M IN TROUBLE AGAIN WHOO-HOO"!!! And I seriously would have sat there spending that entire time-out thinking up new things I could try to do to get away with :) hee-hee.  And I just think that when kids are being bad you don't leave them idle---you either keep them busy or you stop the bad behavior---don't sit them down and give them another TIME - OUT A.K.A.--"BREATHER"...crap they already "out energize" us at that point----why give them even more of an advantage??? LOL!
I don't know what happened in this "evolution" between "fear of the hand" and "time-outs"----all I know is that in our family business---kids come into the store running and jumping all over everything----and so many parents "ignore" the behavior or look to their spouse and say "do something" or feebly tell them "don't do that". These parents allow their children to run amok and wild and the parents have no clue what to do with them and they act like they are so stressed out because their children do not listen to them--then they simply send them off to school when they are of age and perhaps simply expect the teacher to teach their children well?   My dad used to pinch "bad kids" in the store---I loudly tell them "'re gonna get hurt--please get down"----or hint hint --"Honey someone wants to buy this furniture please quit jumping on it--surely your parents don't let you act like this at home---Do I need to call the Furniture Police?"  Anyways---my mom always said that kids never acted this way before and she swore it was something in the "water" that changed everything---seriously she would say things like..."I never took you kids or any of my grand-kids to a restaurant where they acted up and threw fits like this---it must be something in the water"...She always said "It must be something in the water".
So now maybe I am lucky----because I haven't developed a fear of something in the water yet LOL-----
But this "Fear" topic has many levels and layers and now let me get back to my "original" thoughts before I went out there into left field and added more "fear" aspects----
About 400 years ago it was Francis Bacon who actually said something like  "Nothing is to be feared but fear itself"...and I think it really makes a lot of sense.
Let's example---
I'm afraid of a spider....the spider might bight me...the spider might be poisonous...I might die from the poison----
but reality----you might come into contact with hundreds of spiders----maybe none of them will bight you...maybe the one who bights you will not be poisonous---maybe if the one who bights you is poisonous you will not even get sick much more die--

But you still fear spiders simply because something might happen and it is all speculation at this point because you simply don't know until you know and that's just the way life is.
My own FEAR example that has been heavily on my mind for several months has to do with the "waiting process" As women and also humans we take many tests...and in the past several years I have been informed that some of them are "abnormal"---At first I was so freaking scared just WAITING WAITING for the results that so far have been abnormal BUT later come back as "benign"..that I try to tell myself any more when I get these "call-backs" because they have found something "abnormal" that it's just because I am not a "normal" person LOL!  But when I hear the word "Benign"...I swear--it is like I am hearing the best most wonderful word in the entire English language----and all of my worries and "fears" The What-ifs..the then-whats...the What-nows .....Those things are always pondered about "before" the waiting game has an answer-----we speculate and worry...
And I realize at this point in my life that maybe it is a good thing that I know I have in the back of my mind that someday I might just get some "bad news" so I need to try to live my life to its' fullest every day that I possibly can ....But in the overall picture---I still know that the only thing I ever knew for sure in this fear game was my own REALITY --- the "fear of the Hand"---if I didn't behave momma was gonna put me in check-----and that is truly the only fear that has ever been realized in my life at least up to this point-----everything else has simply been speculation...and anything else bad that happened was simply a "surprise" 
(yes indeed I never saw it coming LOL !
And therefore never had time to worry about it :)
Does anyone else out there remember that old cartoon saying "Have No Fear Wonder Dog is Near !"  I think this should be my new life motto.....Bring it on Wonder Dog----Bring it On... I dare ya hee-hee 

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